The August bank holiday weekend already feels like it was years ago rather than just a few weekends back. The Friday before the bank holiday was such a great day. First off, it was payday, which is always a great start to any Friday. The forecast for the weekend was fab and it was already sunny on Friday. My work treated us to bacon sandwiches and let us go home at 4pm! To top it all I had the whole following week off work. I was practically skipping by the end of the day.

We spent the Sunday of the bank holiday visiting Old Sarum to watch the medieval joust. For those who aren't familiar with Wiltshire, Old Sarum is the earliest settlement in Salisbury and lies about 2 miles north of the current city. The site itself has been settled since prehistoric times and the fort dates from the Iron Age. 

It was later controlled by the Romans and the Saxons where it was used as a stronghold against the Vikings. The Normans built the Motte and Bailey castle and the cathedral, the remains of which can still be seen today.

When construction began for the new (and current) cathedral in Salisbury during the 13th century Old Sarum began to decline and many of the buildings were used to provide stone for the newer buildings. 

If you have any interest in history this is well worth a visit and isn't as packed as some of Wiltshire's more popular sites (and by that I mean Stonehenge). It's really cool to walk around it and imagine what it must have been like to live there. 

My parents used to take me to visit when I was little as it's a great day out for small children, plenty of room to run around safely and history that is actually tangible enough for even little kids to understand.

Jared has never been and what better day to go then when the fort is playing host to a medieval joust? The sunshine was glorious, we packed a picnic and spent a day enjoying the sunshine.

There was plenty to watch with the falconry display and the knights displaying their skill at arms.

Finally at the end of the day there was the joust itself, which was action packed and great to watch!

If you're ever in Wiltshire and you're looking for things to do that showcase the history of the area, then Old Sarum is a must see.

We have so much history right on our doorstep here in the UK, that sometimes I think we don't make enough of an effort to get out there and actually see it. 

Plus the view from the top, overlooking the modern city is pretty cool as well.

Have you ever visited? Or do you have something awesome near your home town worth seeing? Let me know! I'm always looking for new things to see and do!

Looking ahead to the New Year 2017

2016 according to most (or at least the people I follow on social media) has been an awful year.
My timeline on every channel is full of 'Good riddance 2016' type posts and statuses.

However I'm feeling sad that this year is over. While it's been challenging it's also been one of the best years yet for me.

I started 2016 feeling stressed, anxious and panicked and as we begin the New Year a lot has changed for me. I made 8 goals back at the beginning of 2016 and I've surprised myself by achieving most of them.

I've completed my masters project and received a mark I'm really proud of. My bound copy of it now proudly sits on my bookshelf along with my 3rd year mapping project as a constant reminder that although it seemed impossible at the time, I still managed it.

2016 also saw me graduating from the University of Southampton with a 2:1 MSci in Geology. It only seems a few moments ago I went to look round the campus for the first time and now I have finished my masters degree. My 3rd year at uni was tough for me and I struggled all the way through my final year feeling like I wasn't good enough and that I didn't deserve a place on the course.  But I proved everyone wrong and I think it is fair to say that I am really proud of myself.

My plans for life post graduation were fairly simple. Move home, get a job and then regroup from there. What I didn't expect was to be made redundant from my job (along with the rest of the team)  just weeks before I graduated. I hadn't even received my degree certificate yet and I was already being made redundant. Not the plan I had in mind.

I signed up to a temping agency and a few days later they contacted me asking if I could start a temping job in 3 days time. I had no idea what I was letting myself in for but I said yes. 3 weeks of temping later and the company offered me a full time role with them. It turned out that finding a job post uni was not as hard or as scary as I had feared. Now I am settled into my full time job and have learnt a huge amount about the new industry I am working in.

While all of this happened without as much difficulty as I had feared it has been a huge period of change in my life. On top of that my family dynamic has changed massively. When I graduated and moved home my parents also invited Jared to move back home with me so that we can try and get our own place together. I absolutely love him living here and how well he gets on with everyone, although it was a big change to get used to. We now have to share quite a small space together but coming home every day and getting to spend time with him is just the best.

Looking ahead to 2017 I want to make some new goals to help challenge and focus me throughout the coming year. I didn't achieve all of my goals in 2016 and some of them I have put on hold for a while, but hopefully the New Year will be as good as the last.

Money Goals:
1. Reach my saving goal for our house deposit. This is the biggest goal for the year, Jared and I are trying to save enough money and while we have made a pretty good start already the next 12 months are crucial if we want to stay on target. Money is tight for me while I'm saving so its going to have to be quite a frugal year but having a house of our own has got to be worth a few years of scrimping.

2. Pay into my pension. Now that I work for a pension company I feel I actually understand what a pension is now. Don't laugh I know most of us have no clue either. The one thing I have had impressed upon me is the importance of small but regular contributions throughout your life. Over the course of a working lifetime it can really add up but the key is to start right away, not leave it until you're older. Although as I've previously said I could really do with the extra money I am trying to look at it as additional saving that I am doing for my future.

3. Donate to some charities that mean something to me. While I have been at uni (without the reliability of a steady wage) I have not been as generous as I would like to be with my money. This year I would like to choose three charities and make a small donation. Not because someone is waving a collection tin in my face, but because I think their cause is worth helping. Sometime we can feel pressured by others into donating and I would like to take the time to support charities that matter to me, as well as those that matter to other people.

Travel Goals:
4. Visit Norway. Going to Scandinavia has been high on my bucket list for ever. This year we are going on a cruise to Norway and I cannot wait! Luckily this was already paid for by working overtime from my old job while I was at uni so it shouldn't affect my saving plans.

5. Visit Bath. Considering this is pretty close to me I have only ever been there on a couple of nights out that feel like a lifetime away now. I'd really like to take a day trip there and actually explore the city. There is no excuse really as it is only an hour away.

6. Visit Ann in Exeter. My best friend is graduating from the University of Exeter this year and I've been trying to go and see her since she was a fresher. Now that I don't have deadlines and exams to fill my weekends I am hoping to make it down there soon!

7. Visit Oxford. On a similar note to Bath this isn't very far from me and I've never visited. I'd like to have a wander about and see what's what. As I haven't got a huge amount of spare cash at the moment a proper European city break is out of the question so I'd like to visit places on my doorstep instead as a compromise.

Development Goals:
8. Read 3 'classic' books. One of my goals from 2016 was to read more and now that I've left uni I am actually relaxed enough to find the time to read. I've always been someone that reads what I enjoy, not necessarily what challenges me. There are so many books that I should have read but haven't got round to it. So I'm going to start small with some of the books many people read at GCSE (Animal Farm anyone?) that my school didn't cover.

9. Practise my German. Since I've left school the amount I've forgotten is shocking. I was by no means fluent (lol) but I could get by on trips to Germany and Austria (where is the toilet, how much is this etc). I want to get my butt back on Duolingo and get practicing again.

10. Become competent in all processes at work. As I've only been working there for a few months there is still a lot of stuff I don't know how to do. Over the next 12 months I'm hoping to learn new things and keep improving.

We'll see this time next year how many I've managed!

Crete 2015

Hello everyone!

I'm sorry for my unexpected break from blogging but sometimes you just need to take a step back to regroup and feel refreshed with it.

I've recently come back from the trip of a lifetime to Crete with my boyfriend Jared and would love to share some of the pictures with you guys.

We started our trip by catching a late train to Gatwick in order to catch a 6am flight. The joy of being a poor student and getting cheap flights. After an hour delay of just sitting on the run way doing nothing we finally got going and 4 hours later we were arriving in Chania.

We were staying with my late Grandads fiance Audrey who kindly came to meet us at the air port. We collected our hire car and I had to learn very quickly how to drive on the wrong side of the road, on the wrong side of the car on absolutely INSANE roads.

Luckily I soon got to grips with it and we had an incredible time. We spent a day exploring Chania and enjoyed walking round the Venetian Harbour, eating lunch over looking the sea. We were staying in the mountains in the west of the island and I was a pro on the mountain roads by the time we left.
Other adventures included exploring the Aya Sofia church, spending lots of days at the idyllic Elafonisi beach snorkeling with loads of fish and relaxing with a book overlooking the mountains.

After an amazing 8 days living in a tiny undiscovered village where the rural way of live still survives it was sadly time to leave it behind. I drove our trusty car 300km to Heraklion which is the islands capital city. Here we spent two days visiting the archeological museum as well as Crete's most famous site: The Minoan Palace at Knossos. While not as pictursque as Chania the city was well worth the trip.

An 11.30pm flight meant we got back to the raining UK at an eyewatering 1.30am. Luckily I had managed to get a cheap deal at the Hilton hotel which is directly attached to the terminal so we were able to go straight to sleep.

Crete has totally captured my heart and I really hope I get to go back someday.

28 Things you only understand if you're part of a large family

As the oldest of four girls we are a pretty big family for 21st century Britain. We live in a small 3 bed house in various states of chaos. And you know what, mad as it is, growing up like this is also pretty awesome. 

1. Privacy? What even is that. You will never get to be alone while you shower or pee. Someone will always need to brush their teeth and get to bed the instant you get in the bath. Relaxing evening ruined.

2. On the same note you have never slept alone until you went to uni. Your parents would need to be millionaires to buy a house big enough for you to each have separate rooms. Until then you share and shut up.

3. You will constantly fight with the sibling whom you are forced to share your space with. You hate the way she leaves the light on when she gets up early and she hates that you leave your dirty pants all over the floor. These things never change no matter how old you get.

4. There was probably a pointless room switch up to try and solve these arguments at some point. Only for you to realize that your new sibling roomate was a million times more annoying and you missed the routine of arguing with the old one. Best swap back cos better the devil you know.

5. Being made to let the youngest play even though they would ruin everything about the game.

6. The constant shifting pattern of sibling alliances. Today we are friends because the other two are annoying me more. Tomorrow: who knows what might happen

7. Hand me downs. Even if you are the oldest there's an older cousins who's clothes are destined to be yours.

8. No matter how annoying your siblings are though you stick together when it comes to Mum and Dad. We all understand it is us verses them. There's safety in numbers so best to stick together.

9. If the youngest ratted you out to your parents they would suffer the consequences of breaking the sibling code. It might not happen straight away but we'll get our own back eventually.

10.  Being dressed in the same outfit on family days out so your parents could keep track of you all.

11. Little old ladies cooing over you constantly wherever you went. Usually about how sweet we all are and don't we all look alike? No we do not.

12. Having to own an enormous car so that you can all fit in it at the same time. A car that your mum cannot park.

13. Family holidays consist of camping trips to Devon where we all pretend we're having fun in the rain.

14. Ensuring your siblings will never make friends and are stuck with you for life by refusing to act normal when potential new friends come over for tea.

15. In fact the friends you do have are desperate to come and play at your house although their parents seem strangely reluctant. They usually mutter about how their children come home covered in mud and totally hyperactive.

16. The more of you there are, the more toys you collectively have. How much you want to share them depends on your mood.

17. And if you are all into the same thing then it can get out of hand *spends 24 hours building a My Little Pony empire*.

18. Christmas lists were tactically designed. "You ask for the Barbie House and I'll ask for the Barbie Car, then we'll have both".

19. Bath time was the best part of the day when all of you were small enough to fit in together. It was a chance to make a huge splashy mess playing imaginary games.

20. In fact the best games were the totally random ones that involved large amounts of imagination

21. Despite being the first person to ever hold you, your Dad still gets your names muddled up.

22. Teachers have no clue which one of you is which.

23. You genuinely never understood why your friends always complained about being bored in the holidays. When there's so many of you there's always someone to play with.

24. Fighting over who gets to read the newest Harry Potter book first.

25. Pretending that you still play with dolls because you can't spoil the youngest ones fun when really you're just not ready to let go yet.

26. Making a huge effort to not ruin Father Christmas for the younger ones. Now you get to eat the cookies you put out yourself.

27. It is almost impossible to find a picture where all of you look nice.

28. Although its difficult at times you wouldn't swap it for the world <3

When is the right time to do something?

Now I'm in my third year at uni this question surrounds me constantly. I'm no longer a carefree freshers who's major concern is working out how much I can drink and still make it to my 9am lecture. And its not just me, its my friends too. We're no longer stressing about how we're going to do all the things we want but rather WHEN is the right time to do them.

I know one day I want to explore the world a bit more. But when should I do it? Do I get it all out the way in a year long trip after I graduate? Sounds amazing but I have no money to do that, so I guess I need to get a job. But once I have a job heading off on such an adventure would probably ruin my career. So just how am I going to make this dream work?

Another major goal of mine is to one day own a house. I've lived in rented housing for three years now and I don't see that situation changing anytime soon. Its ok, but I would like to have something that is actually mine. I want to be able to do things as simple as change the wall colour or hang a picture without having to ask first. But most of all I want to feel settled somewhere, to create my own home and to feel it is my own personal sanctuary. I'm desperate to unleash that nesting urge women seem to have and put my own personal stamp onto something. So I guess I am going to have to get a job and save damn hard if I want to make this one work. But when is the right time to actually say you want to put some roots down and start building your life?

Most difficult of all when is the right time to have children? If I'm being honest this is my only major life goal I have. But ask anyone and they all have different opinions on whens the right time in your life to embrace this enormous change and responsibility. I've got friends who already have children and those that are shocked at the thought of having kids before they are 30. I think I'm probably somewhere in the middle of those two but even so I have no idea if or when there will ever be a time when I'm ready. I don't think its fair to have children if you are not able to support them. But will I ever get to that stage before the biological clock has stopped altogether? With a family history of early onset menopause it is definitely something I need to be thinking about.

These worries keep me up at night sometimes. This is the big stuff that I actually really want. And it scares me that I have no idea if its even possible to achieve all of it. And because its what I want I think its worth giving it some thought. I'm starting to see that stressing about it endlessly won't help either. I have no idea what the future holds and my current situation might change dramatically. I might win the lottery or get some amazing job that will allow me to afford these things easily. I guess I just need to wait and see what happens and try to ignore the pressure society puts on us to 'have it all figured out'.

Also, in all honesty though I am not sure there is ever a 'right' time to do anything and if you are determined to wait for it then you might never achieve anything. Sometimes you just have to go with it and take the risk. That I guess is the tricky part and the point I am trying to make with this post. You just need to decide if you want it enough to try.

For now, I am going to focus on finishing my 3rd year at uni and going on holiday to Crete. These are all baby steps towards what I want in the long term. The rest of it will just have to work itself out.

Picture

Hey its ok to cut yourself some slack

The whole reason I write this blog is because I feel its a place I can be honest about how I feel, even if its a small drama getting me down. Like most people I can struggle with my self confidence on occasion. Ive written about it on this blog before and if I'm honest its an ongoing problem.
It feels like it strikes out of nowhere, one moment I'm this cool, sassy, fierce girl whos got her shit together and the next I'm curled up in bed bawling my eyes out about how the world and their mother hate me.

With hindsight I can usually see a negative cycle of behavior that warns of an impending meltdown but this time was different. If you take a look at the previous posts on this that I've linked above you can see its been a while since this has bothered me and I was starting to think I was making real progress with how I see myself.

One tiny little thing bothered and suddenly I was upset beyond any reason. I know we all get days like this, where you feel on the verge of tears about nothing. And if I'm honest it probably was one of 'those days' combined with hormones. But even so I don't normally let it get this out of hand.

This happened last week and its taken me a while to decide what I wanted to write about with it. I think what I learnt from this particular time was that actually its ok to get upset about things. Normally everything looks better after you sleep on it, but this time when I woke up I found I was still beating myself up about it. I got up early and sat by myself with a cup of tea for a bit. I allowed myself to cry and feel all the emotions that go with one of these low moments. I decided to cut myself some slack for not being perfect and I immediately felt better. After an hour or so I had pulled myself back together.

We're only human and we our emotions are not always rational but that's ok. The world would be pretty boring if we all acted in a perfectly predictable way. Everyone has moments of self doubt so we are not alone in how we feel. I'm writing this post to say that I am ok with having the odd moment where I act like a crazy person because I know that everytime I overcome one of these moments I am making more and more progress. All we can ever aim for is to improve.

New Urban Decay Haul

Today I am going to branch out a little and do more of a beauty style post. Although I am a lifestyle blogger I like to mix things up from time to time. Plus I am really nosy and love to see what other people have bought.

The bunch of stuff I bought was because I found a bit of money in my room I had forgotten I had (bloody love it when that happens). A sensible person would have put that money aside for a rainy day and not spent it on eyeshadow, but I had clearly already done that and never spent it. So y'know I just thought what the heck, ITS TIME.

am obsessed with Urban Decay and in particular their Naked palettes. I find myself trawling through Instagram and Pinterest for pretty pictures that have these incredibly sexy eyeshadows in. I already have the Naked 3 palette and I have got such amazing use out of it. Clearly I now need all three of them.

So I had to get Naked 2. Its a beauty, I mean just look at it. I know everyone who has ever been on a beauty blog already knows all about them so I am not going to blabber on about the different shades and how pigemented it is or whatever. You already know this stuff, just look at it and appreciate how gorgeous it is. I think I'm in love. I suspect its only a matter of time before the original one is sitting in my online basket.

I also got the Urban Decay Primer Potion in original because this is the only thing I have ever tried that stops my eye make up sliding around my face on a night out. If for any insane reason you have not tried it yet then you really should. And just as a hint if you get a eyeshadow palette you get a free sample of this with it...

So moving on to lip products I finally purchased these after trying them on in store back at the beginning of the year. I can't stop thinking about how much I liked them so it had to be done. First up is the Revolution lipstick in Turn on which is a lovely soft pink colour. You can't get better than pink lipstick for Spring. Thats just how it is.

To go with it I got the Naked Ultra Nourishing Lipgloss in Lovechild. I used to love lipgloss and wore it everyday, but recently lipstick has kind of been winning for me. Its time to get back into this and I love that this one doesn't feel sticky and gloopy.

I'm pretty happy with all this, plus I got 10% off and free delivery which is always a bonus :D

Boat Party 2015

So this is my third year attending this event, and if I'm honest its probably one of the most anticipated events in my years social calendar. This year tickets were virtually impossible to come by but luckily I have connections so made sure we had some ;)

We kicked the night off with a girly getting ready session which involved large amounts of wine. I actually really enjoyed the part of the night spent at Pitcher and Piano before boarding the boat as its a great chance to catch up with the anticipation of a great night.

The actual party itself was amazing and I had such a great time. So glad I got to spend it with such an amazing group of friends and I'm so sad its the last time we will all be together to enjoy it. I love you girls so much!

Top photo credit: Hannah Cheales

Things that have made me happy

So its been a while since I've posted and been even longer since I've done one of these posts. My bad. Its been a busy few weeks and I've been up to lots of stuff.

1. I finally booked my holiday! I'm off to Crete in July for 10 days in the sun with Jared. I've worked hard to save for this trip and it feels so good to finally have it all booked and sorted. I've just got the car hire left to organise and then all that's left to do is get excited! I've already bought a new bikini and I'm constantly thinking about new outfits I want to take with me. I can't wait!

2. My sister Ellie got me this adorably cute gift just because. Firstly isn't that just the nicest thing? A surprise present for no reason at all? And its from Paperchase which is where the stationary gods place their gifts for me to drool over. A big thank you to her, the notebook lives in my bag so I can jot down random things I need to remember. So not only is it pretty but its also useful.

3. During the Easter holidays I pretty much just worked (in order to pay for uni next year and for Crete) but I did manage a weekend back in Southampton to see Jared. We wanted to go to the beach but it was raining so went off to explore Winchester. Its such a cute little place and as I've previously mentioned on this blog reminds me so much of Salisbury. The main thing we had come to see was the cathedral which is stunning and I had no idea it was *quite* that old. After a cheeky McDonalds we spent most of the afternoon in a second hand book shop which sorta made me feel like we were in a Match.com advert or something. I got a book on watercolour painting as a gift for Ellie, to say thank you for my notebook.

4. As we are now in the start of the new tax year I got some holiday pay. I wasn't expecting to receive this and it made an excellent contribution towards paying for my trip. Nice to get a little unexpected something extra.

5. Last weekend was a special occasion so Jared and I went away for the weekend to Exmouth in Devon. Although the weather was rubbish we had a lovely few days and watched a lot of films and ate huge amounts of food. We made an excellent playlist so the drive down was pretty fun as well.  After a stressful week full of deadlines it was really nice to escape to some fresh sea air.

6. As mentioned above I had a big essay due to last week and I am relieved to see the back of it!

7. A quick shopping trip turned into damn I need more lipsticks. I got these on a 3 for 2 offer and I am just loving the purple shades for Spring!

Are high end beauty products worth it?

Over the last year or so my love for make up has increased ten fold. I'm not sure when this change occurred exactly but I suddenly realised how creative you could be with it and its gradually become the best part of my morning routine.
Since becoming a blogger I read a fair few blogs and a lot of these feature make up reviews. While this is not an area I personally want to get into I do find other peoples opinions and experiences of products to be extremely helpful. I'm much more likely to try a product if someone else has already bought it and loved it.
However one thing I have noticed is a lot of bloggers tend to focus on very high end brands and this has lead me to question are these products worth the money?
Generally in life I would agree with the statement that you get what you pay for. Those Primark shoes you got for £4 will probably fall apart but a £60 pair from Zara probably won't. But is it the same with make up?

Does a higher price equal a better product?

In my experience a lot of the time the high end product ends up being of better quality than the cheaper option, but this should be a no brainer. After all you are paying a lot more money, the product SHOULD be better. The question is more whether there is a significant enough difference to justify the extra cash. This is a tricky thing to decide and much depends on the individual product in question.
This is where beauty blogs come in handy for make up newbies like myself as the people who write these blogs have a passion for make up. By writing their blog they try a wide range of products and are better equipped to make a good comparison than someone like me with limited experience. Sometimes there are really good alternatives out there and you could potentially save yourself loads of money. Like most things by doing a little research you can make an informed decision as to which product is best for you.

Are you buying the product or the brand?

Like with everything fashions and trends change endlessly and it can feel like there is endless pressure from social media (including blogs) to keep up. Are you buying the product just because the brand on the packaging will make you look cool? Or because its a 'cult classic'? I actually don't think there's much wrong with enjoying something that lots of other people like. After all, its popular for a reason so there is a strong chance you will like it too. If wearing your Ruby Woo lipsticks makes you feel fierce and strut your stuff like the badass bitch you are then you should definitely get it. But I don't think you should buy it purely because everyone else has. Buy it because YOU like it.

Are you paying for the packaging?

A lot of high end brands have gorgeous packaging, ranging from girly and adorable to chic and sophisticated (looking at you Chanel). But are you forking out the extra money for the pot in comes in? The packaging is there to try and suck you in and could potentially house a substandard product. Equally some of the less snazzy looking drugstore versions can be amazing. There's nothing worse than buying something you really like but it doesn't work. If you love the actual product itself then buy it regardless of how it looks. If it happens to look stunning as well (no matter what it costs) then consider that a bonus.

Are you actually going to use it?

When it comes to choosing whether to splurge or save I personally think it depends on the useage you will get out of the product. Is it only ever going to get the occasional use or will you wear it everyday? Items that you will use day in, day out are worth investing in as you get good value for money. Make up has a shelf life and theres no point spending £30 on a lipstick you only wear five times a year. However if you invest that in a shade you wear twice a week that lipstick only costs you 30p each time you wear it.
You could argue its too expensive to wear these things everyday but I think its better value to treat yourself to your best products and get the maximum use out of them. If you never wear it then the product was a waste of money regardless of how much it cost.

So how do you make a good decision?

Over the years I think I have actually wasted far more money on cheaper products that I don't like than I have ever spent on more expensive ones. The lower price encourages impulse buying and I am guilty of just thinking 'What the hell, its only £3.99'. But this adds up if you consistently purchase items that don't suit you and that you don't actually like.
Sometimes taking a risk is good but I would never spend loads of money on a product I am unsure of. I never thought I would like a dark vampy lipstick so I dipped my toe in with a £5 Rimmel one and I love it. But taking a risk style wise is not the same as just buying stuff without considering if its right for you.
So far I have never purchased a high end product I don't really love. When I know that I am about to spend a fair bit of cash I make careful decisions. I research the product, I read reviews, I watch videos and most importantly I always try it first. If it doesn't make me feel like a goddess then I don't buy it.
Respect the need to experiment in order to learn. But you will make better decisions if you take your time to think about it regardless of how much money your are spending.

So overall are they worth it?

I believe make up is all about how it makes us feel about ourselves. It helps us put on a the face we wish to present to the world regardless of how we feel inside. That extra confidence is priceless and can truly change the way we are perceived by others. Buy the one that suits you, works for you and makes you feel good. You have only wasted your money if you buy it to please others regardless of whether you spent £5 or £50.

Making decisions is hard

First off, apologies for not being so good with making posts. I've had a busy week with working and stuff and y'know life just got in the way.

I wanted to write this post because I've been feeling really on edge and stressed all day. I've been on the verge of tears a fair bit too and that's not my normal happy state. Its taken me most of the day to work out why I'm upset and I think thats because I'm feeling very conflicted lately.

I've written about this quite a bit on this blog before but its clearly still bothering me so I am going to to write about it again.

Without boasting, in general I think my life is great. For me personally I feel like I have pretty much everything I want. Now this might not measure up to other peoples standards but I'm not going to get into that in this post. The important thing is its my life and I am happy with it.

Oddly though I think that might be the cause of why I was feeling upset. Before you judge me and think WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING HAPPY let me explain.

In general I would say its the people in my life who bring me the most happiness and the experiences I have shared with them are memories that I treasure. I am incredibly lucky to have so many wonderful people around me. But choosing who to spend time with and trying to justify my priorities to everyone can leave me feeling exhausted.

I know I should just do what I want. But life is not that simple. I have responsibilities such as work and uni that restrict what free time I have and a large amount of people to divide that limited time between.

Put simply I am fed up with having to choose. I am tired of having to sacrifice time spent with everyone and trying to calculate in my head who I should be prioritizing at the moment. Sometimes I have to make difficult decisions and I then spent a huge amount of time worrying I made the wrong one. Whatever I decide I inevitably end up upsetting somebody. But most of all I upset myself because I simply cannot please everyone.

Sometimes it feels like I am so busy trying to do what everyone else wants there isn't much time left for things I want to do. Perhaps I need to be firmer but I find it hard saying no to people I care about.

So yeah. This was a bit of a rambly post but I feel better for having written it down. I'm sure I can't be the only person who this affects so I would love to hear if anyone has any advice on how they cope with it.

Picture from Pinterest

Things that have made me happy this week

Its been a really busy week for me and I'm pretty tired from it. I'm currently working every weekend and its really starting to take its toll, particularly as I am not very well at the moment with a really bad chest and throat. Poor little me I know.
However because its been a busy week theres been a fair bit going on and theres plenty of stuff thats made me happy.

1. On Wednesday I headed off to London with my Dad for a family party. I hardly ever go to London and its actually been two years since I was last there! The party was for my Dads cousins (so my second cousin?) 50th birthday and we went with my Grandad, two of my Aunts and one of my cousins and it was really nice to spend some time with them. I've never really met much of my Irish family and it was nice to meet some new people.
Also I always enjoy an excuse to get dolled up and I wore a black pencil dress with flats because I couldn't be bothered to walk all over London in heels. It was so much fun and I am really glad I made the effort to go.

2. This party seemed like a great opportunity to try out some of my newest beauty buys. I was so impressed with them that they made me happy enough to warrant their own point on this list. However I had to get ready to leave Southampton at midday and the party was from 7pm to 11pm. Therefore I needed my make up to stay put all day.  For anyone who is interested here is a quick rundown of my #MOTD. It felt odd putting all this slap on my face in the middle of the day as I don't really wear much during the day normally. 
After my usual Clinique skincare routine I used Clinqiue Universal Superprimer followed by Clinique Beyond Perfecting Foundation and Concealer in Alabaster. Not entirely sure how my olive skin is considered Alabaster but this is a surprisingly good match for me.
Over the top of this I used Clinique Stay Matt in 101 Invisible Matt. For my cheeks I used Clinique All Over Bloom blush in Peony and Seventeens Shimmer Brick in Pink Bronze. For my eyes I used Urban Decays Eyeshadow Primer Potion in Original, with my new Soap and Glory Supercat eyeliner alongside my Naked 3 eyeshadow palette. I finished this off with my Benefit Rollerlash mascara. Finishing touches were my eyebrows done in my Rimmel Pencil and my favorite Clinique Long Last Lipstick in So Sweet.
 Apart from lipstick touch ups and a quick repowder of my shiny nose my make up lasted ALL NIGHT. Yes thats right. I put it on at 12pm and and I took it off at 2am when I got home and it had not budged a bit. Thats 14 hours. Usually by the end of the night my make up is all over the place. I am crediting the two primers I used. You seriously need them in your life.
Excuse the poor quality of the selfie. There was wine involved by the time I thought to take a picture.

3. After this party on Wednesday I was feeling naughty and decided I couldn't be bothered to go back to uni. Yes I know, I'm a bad person. But I don't care. I spent Thursday just chilling on the sofa (nursing my hangover) and I've got to be at home for 4 lovely days with my crazy family. I literally love them so much.

4. Seeing our new kittens, they are just so cute! They've got their eyes open now and are just starting to try to walk around. Its impossible not to be happy while holding a newborn kitten in your hand. I've been taking so many pictures of them and sending them to my friends to make them jealous. Not feeling any guilt about it either, I mean can you even believe how CUTE they are?

5. Its Bonus time at Boots at the moment and I've grabbed myself some great Clinique Products. I love the chance bonus time gives you to try new products that you might not have necessarily chosen for yourself. I am loving the blusher and the Chubby stick eyeshadow and I think they make a great spring look. I wore them both to work on Friday and they made me feel so on it. I mean get me, coordinating my make up to the seasons. My only complaint is I wish Clinque would let you tailor the products to your skin type. The Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion is just too rich for my oily skin and I wish I had the option of exchanging it for the gel version (which I LOVE). But overall I love the bag that this came in and I was also really impressed with the mascara. Its the perfect size for my handbag too. Get yourself down to Boots and get one for yourself, you won't be dissapointed!

6. This weekend I managed to drive Jasper for the first time since Christmas and he was such a good boy. I think I should get extra dedication points as I was feeling really poorly and going outside in the cold was the last thing I wanted to do. This sport has been such a big part of my life over the last 13 years and its makes me sad that because of uni I can't devote as much time to it. It was so nice to get back to it though and I'm going to make a determined effort to try and squeeze it in around work and uni.

Things that have made me Happy this Week

Its been a busy week this week what with juggling work and being at uni. My little blog has hit some small milestones this week as I reached my first viewing milestone. I also had someone tweet me with some positive feedback to say they really liked my weekly happiness posts. Now that made me happy!

Pulled BBQ Chicken

1. Having a nice nap. This is a seriously underrated past time that is only really acceptable if you are a toddler or a student. For some weird reason I’ve been really tired all week and I had a much needed afternoon nap. It made me feel so much better. I think I need to listen to my body on this one and accept that I need a little bit more sleep then I’ve been getting recently. Working early shifts for a few weekends in a row probably hasn’t helped as it doesn’t give me a chance to catch up. This magical nap left me feeling like a brand new person. If you feel like crying because you are too tired then I would suggest grabbing a nap when you can. 

Salted Caramel Milkshake in Hipster Mason Jar (note:fake drink rings haha)

2. Went with some of my old friends from halls to a new restaurant that’s opened up in Southampton called Shrimp and Burger. With that name the contents of the menu don’t hold many surprises as this is a burger bar. What makes it interesting is the fact it’s clearly trying to compete with the infamous 7Bone which in my opinion is both highly overrated and overpriced. If you are looking for the same hipster atmosphere as 7Bone but vastly superior quality food then look no further. I was extremely impressed with the value for money and the taste of the food. I ordered a Salted Caramel milkshake and a pulled chicken burger with fries. It was all delicious and the service was great. Plus you can actually get a table unlike in 7Bone where the staff are also exceptionally snotty. 

An exceptionally drunk pizza selfie after Wild Lime

3. This week was my friend Naomi’s 21^st birthday and I met up with my girlies at Wild Lime to celebrate. Copious amounts of wine, cocktails and Prosecco were consumed and I had such a lovely time. I love spending time with these girls and its even better if theres an excuse to get dressed up involved. Happy Birthday Naomi! You are literally so adorable and I love you!

4. A few weeks ago I popped into my local Clinique counter to grab my free trial of their new Beyond Perfecting Foundation. As a massive fan of Clinique I am super keen to try anything new they bring out. I am very impressed with this foundation. I normally use their Superbalanced Foundation in Beige Chiffon as it gives a sheer coverage and is oil free. While I still love my Superbalanced, the advantage of the Beyond Perfecting is it offers heavier coverage for days when my skin is not looking so great. Plus you only have to use the tiniest amount so I think my free sample might last be a really long time.

5. This week my boyfriend and I had a super cosy night in with PJ’s, the duvet and Dominos two for Tuesday. Literally my idea of the perfect date which is tragic I know.

Its just too pretty

6. In my Pink Parcel which I wrote about last week there was a MUA eyeshadow palette in Romantic Effervesence. I’m in love with it and I wore it every day last week. The best thing about it is it only costs £4 and considering its price tag it is very high quality. I’ve got designer eyeshadow that does not stand up to this. As it costs so little it is definitely worth giving it a go as it’s great for everyday use.