Yes this really was me at uni.

With spring approaching that can only mean one thing: graduation is creeping ever closer. Alongside dissertation deadlines, final exams and job hunting. 

But, it’s not all doom and gloom. If you’re being really honest with yourself there are some things about student life that are less than ideal and that you’re probably looking forward to leaving behind by now. 

It’s been almost a year since I handed in my dissertation and effectively finished my degree so here are the things I definitely DON’T miss about student life and chances are you won’t either.

1. Being hungover approximately 4 days out of every 7.
2. The sad empty feeling that you’ve wasted a whole day without achieving anything because said hangover prevented you from going to your lectures.
3. Revision. Nothing else needs saying.
4. Lecturers who don’t reply to your emails.
5. When you zone out for a few minutes in a lecture while you contemplate how you can possibly survive on the £8.27 left in your bank account and then suddenly realise you’ve got zero clue what the lecturer’s talking about.
6. Spending £300 a year of precious money in order to spend 2 hours a day on a bus.
7. The feeling of panic when you get your results emailed to you later than everyone else.
8. The anxiety of having to open the email when it does arrive and actually read your results.
9. You are surrounded by people who have exactly the same problems as you (same deadlines, same exams etc.) so EVERYTHING is a drama.
10. Having to listen to people trying to one up each other on how much time they spent in the library.
11. Never being able to get a seat in the library because of the people who seem to have just moved in.
12. Living in a damp, mouldy house with a bunch of twats.
13. Cleaning up after you stupidly decided to have pre-drinks at your house the night before.
14. People who eat your food.
15. Constantly getting threatening letters from the TV licensing people. WE DON’T EVEN HAVE A TV.
16. Working solidly through your holidays so you can afford to live.
17. The sick feeling you get from knowing you have a big piece of work to do.
18. Fresher reps. They can fuck off.
19. Spending 4 hours straight in lectures listening to someone read off the slide which you could have done from your bed.
20. The crushing feeling when you’ve worked really hard on something and get a lower mark than you hoped for.
21. Friends of your flatmates who move in and won’t leave.
22. Being too scared to ever take a bath because it’s so filthy you’ve got no idea where to even start cleaning it.
23. Physically dragging yourself into uni after a tearful all-nighter to submit a paper because the lecturer won’t use turnitin.
24. Lying awake the night before your exam unable to sleep because there are drunk students outside your window who’ve already finished their exams.
25. Owning one chipped wine glass and one washed out Nutella jar glass.
26. Getting into a passive aggressive war over whose turn it is to take the recycling out.
27. Refusing to give in when playing Bin Jenga.
28. Surviving on a diet of toasted sandwiches, cold dominos and questionable things from cans.
29. Meeting sports societies out drinking together on a night out and having to endure their rowdy and obnoxious behaviour.
30. The never ending ‘what am I going to do with my life’ crisis.

Leaving uni was scary, there’s no getting around it but at least none of these things irritate me on a daily basis anymore!

New year... new goals 2016

Ok, so I realise this post is about a million years too late and that I haven't blogged for ages. I'm aware its pretty much March already and this sort of post had its day about 2 months ago. But gotta get back on the horse at some point and today I just feel like everything I want to get done is jostling about in my head and won't be quiet so I can focus on things.

The best cure for that is writing so here I am, back at my laptop and typing my thoughts on the internet. Then once they're written down I can start putting them into action. 

2016 is going to see my life turning upside down as I prepare to leave uni and take my first steps into the world so I think I need to have some realistic goals in place to stop me losing sight of where I'm trying to go. 

1. Finish my dissertation. 

Hang on a minute I hear you say, wasn't that your goal for 2015? Well yes it was but because I was daft enough to study for an integrated masters degree I get the joy of not one but TWO dissertations. Ain't life a bitch. So here I am in almost exactly the same position I was in this time last year in science hell questioning all my life decisions. But, I really want to do a good job and get it done so I can move on and finish my degree.

2. Graduate.

Speaking of which I can't wait to graduate this year. When you do a four year degree you spend most of your summer of third year watching most of year friends graduate (and abandoning you) while also feeling smug you don't have to stress about getting a job just yet. I'm not quite sure where the past year has gone but suddenly I find myself in their shoes and I am both excited and relieved that uni is almost done for me. Four years of studying is a long time and looking forward to spreading my wings.

3. Get a job.

While this once seems very vague I'm not actually sure what I want to do yet. I'm really looking forward to a new challenge and being able to start shaping my life in the direction I want. Having full time employment and a reliable wage opens lots of doors. Being financially stable and independent is my overall goal and to do that I need that paycheque coming in every month. 

4. Pass my trailer test. 

This might seem like an odd one. I learnt to drive when I was still in 6th form and as the oldest of four children (three of which can drive) I am lucky to be insured on several of our family cars so have always had access to a car. Unless you are a country bumpkin like me learning to tow will probably never cross your mind but when you live in a rural area its a life skill. Now that I have a car that is a good tow vehicle I want to get that skill under my belt before too many bad driving habits can creep in and other life stresses start getting in the way.

5. Go on a girls holiday. 

This goal is already very much underway as my friends and I are going on a long weekend to Devon after we finish uni. I am already super excited about this one as it will be so lovely to just relax and have fun together. I plan to get moderately sloshed on prosecco virtually every night. Warning you now. 

6. Continue being a *bit* healthier.

One of last years goals was to try and eat more fruit and veg and just generally be a little healthier. I've tried really hard to stick to that one and have made really good progress. At the end of 2015 I even joined a gym and started going properly and I feel so much better about myself. So I want to continue rolling with that and seeing how much further I can push myself this year. 

7. Go to Rome.

I went on a school trip to Rome when I was in Year 10 and started what I suspect might be a lifelong love affair with the city. When my boyfriend Jared told me he really wanted to go there this year I felt like I might do a little wee with excitement. I've totally downplayed it to him about how happy I am about this. I'm not sure how we'll afford it, what with both of us graduating and needing to get a job but I'm determined that this year we are going there. 

8. Read more.

Before I went to uni I was an avid reader. I was never without a book I was engrossed in. Then I went to uni and discovered Netflix and binge watching a whole TV season in one day. There's always a distraction at uni and I find it hard to unwind enough to sit down and get lost in a book. I've got a big pile ready as well as an extensive list on Amazon so I can't wait to get stuck in.

When is the right time to do something?

Now I'm in my third year at uni this question surrounds me constantly. I'm no longer a carefree freshers who's major concern is working out how much I can drink and still make it to my 9am lecture. And its not just me, its my friends too. We're no longer stressing about how we're going to do all the things we want but rather WHEN is the right time to do them.

I know one day I want to explore the world a bit more. But when should I do it? Do I get it all out the way in a year long trip after I graduate? Sounds amazing but I have no money to do that, so I guess I need to get a job. But once I have a job heading off on such an adventure would probably ruin my career. So just how am I going to make this dream work?

Another major goal of mine is to one day own a house. I've lived in rented housing for three years now and I don't see that situation changing anytime soon. Its ok, but I would like to have something that is actually mine. I want to be able to do things as simple as change the wall colour or hang a picture without having to ask first. But most of all I want to feel settled somewhere, to create my own home and to feel it is my own personal sanctuary. I'm desperate to unleash that nesting urge women seem to have and put my own personal stamp onto something. So I guess I am going to have to get a job and save damn hard if I want to make this one work. But when is the right time to actually say you want to put some roots down and start building your life?

Most difficult of all when is the right time to have children? If I'm being honest this is my only major life goal I have. But ask anyone and they all have different opinions on whens the right time in your life to embrace this enormous change and responsibility. I've got friends who already have children and those that are shocked at the thought of having kids before they are 30. I think I'm probably somewhere in the middle of those two but even so I have no idea if or when there will ever be a time when I'm ready. I don't think its fair to have children if you are not able to support them. But will I ever get to that stage before the biological clock has stopped altogether? With a family history of early onset menopause it is definitely something I need to be thinking about.

These worries keep me up at night sometimes. This is the big stuff that I actually really want. And it scares me that I have no idea if its even possible to achieve all of it. And because its what I want I think its worth giving it some thought. I'm starting to see that stressing about it endlessly won't help either. I have no idea what the future holds and my current situation might change dramatically. I might win the lottery or get some amazing job that will allow me to afford these things easily. I guess I just need to wait and see what happens and try to ignore the pressure society puts on us to 'have it all figured out'.

Also, in all honesty though I am not sure there is ever a 'right' time to do anything and if you are determined to wait for it then you might never achieve anything. Sometimes you just have to go with it and take the risk. That I guess is the tricky part and the point I am trying to make with this post. You just need to decide if you want it enough to try.

For now, I am going to focus on finishing my 3rd year at uni and going on holiday to Crete. These are all baby steps towards what I want in the long term. The rest of it will just have to work itself out.

Picture

Doing Life the 'right' way

So last week I finally finished the book I was reading called I want it that way by Ann Aguirre (free to download on iTunes just FYI) and I have to admit its not often a book stays with me for this long.

Although this is not a post reviewing this book I would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good raunchy romance story. Its a seriously relateable book and I would would be a good read for anyone in their twenties who is stressing about their overall life plan.

The reason I wanted to write this post is the overriding theme of the book is there is no right way to live life. The book focuses around the idea that we have a predetermined path expected of us by society and it can be tricky to deviate from it. As young adults we feel a huge pressure to get our lives together and to start being a responsible mature adult. Slack on this front and you will feel the full force of everyone's disapproval but this can also happen the other way round. Grow up too quick and people will question if you have made a rash decision or bitten off more than you can chew as you are 'too young to know what you want'.

What I loved about this book was the way it encouraged me to pursue what I want and my own happiness. Life is complicated and the right way for most people may or may not be the right way for YOU. And that is absolutely fine. Only you can know what is right for you and by making that choice you also accept the consequences should it not work out. Having said this people mature at different rates and we should allow for this. You might be 30 and nowhere near ready to settle down but you might be 20 and totally in the right place mentally. We are all different and I think you are mature enough to do what you want if you are capable of dealing with any potential fall out.

 If there is one thing we have to accept is we cannot control life and the timing we have in our heads does not always match up to the reality. Sometimes opportunities do not come along at the right time but we should take them anyway as we all have to learn from our mistakes.

The other thing we have to remember is you are not a failure if you deviate from the predetermined path. For instance I originally applied to study Veterinary Science at uni and had dreamed of becoming a vet for a long time. I was a good candidate, my grades were good enough, I had done loads of work experience plus I grew up on a farm with a lifetime experience with animals. However after one interview I received no offers and it was probably one of the lowest points of my life. All around me my friends had their pick of 5 unis and I didn't even have one. I vividly remember the day I got my final rejection and when I told my friends I didn't get a single offer one of them replied "Yeah Amber, you think YOUR news is bad? I got rejected from Exeter today". I wanted to punch her as I knew she had 4 other offers from really good universities which included both of her top choices and had never had any intention of going to that uni in the first place. As I went to a highly competitive grammar school I was one of the few girls not to receive any offers and I had no clue what to do with my life.

But I had to pull myself back together and make some tough decisions. I've never been one for quitting and I desperately wanted to reapply. However there are only a handful of veterinary schools in the UK. Two of these are in Scotland and one is Cambridge and I didn't want to go to any of these. This only left with me with my 4 original choices (RVC, Nottingham, Liverpool and Bristol) and several of these were planning on raising their entry requirements or did not allow repeat applications. I decided that maybe this wasn't the career path for me and decided to change direction instead of giving up. The point is that this does not make me a failure just because I did not follow the expected path for me. Its made me who I am today and I do not regret the decision.

In conclusion: respect the opinions of those older and wiser than you. They probably do know better. But that isn't always the point. You have to learn your own way and we must be prepared to be flexible with our overall life plan as you never know whats going to happen. The right path for some is not always the right one for you. Know and trust yourself.

Also the book is a seriously good read. Check it out if you get bored ;)

Picture: Pinterest.

Stuff I can't wait to do

Ever since I was about 14 I've hated January as it involved some sort of exam season. Not only is it cold, with shit weather and no Christmas to look forward to but then they decide to add EXAMS into that delightful mix.

This time last year I was disastrously ill and having one of the worst months of my life. This year is not much better for very different reasons. Basically I have three exams to sit and I hate two out of the three modules. Plus my dissertation deadline is only 2 days after my final exam. That's right. TWO WHOLE DAYS. Aren't they generous?

The amount of work I've got is crippling and is leaching all the fun and enjoyment out of my life. Even when I am taking a break I am so wracked with guilt I cannot enjoy what I am doing. Right now the only thing I seem capable of doing is crying and that is really not helping because I have got a horrible cold that is already making me a snotty mess.

To try and cheer myself up I decided to write a post on all the fun things I am going to do once this work is out of the way.

1. Netflix, tea, pjs. All day, for a whole day. I don't care what I watch or how much fast food I eat but its going to be incredible. Might even do it for several days. We'll see how I feel.

2. Dinner with my Geology Girls. We've got a fun celebratory dinner planned and I can't wait to consume copious amounts of wine and relax. While stuffing lots of yummy food into my face.

3. Get back to the gym. I have not had time to even go near that place, but weirdly I find myself looking forward to going back there... Probably a good thing as I plan on doing a lot of eating over the next few weeks.

4. Date night with my boyfriend. As a well deserved treat we are off to do something special together. It will be really nice to spend some time with him where I am not on the brink of bursting into stress tears at any moment.

5. Party time! There is a big party being planned for some friends of mines birthdays. Best part is its DISNEY THEMED. Time to crack out my well thought out costume and drink large amounts of vodka and coke (mostly vodka).

6. Planning my holiday. The reason I worked my butt off over Christmas was to earn some cash and I plan to spend a bit of it jetting off somewhere hot and sunny. Even thinking about it makes me excited!

7. I'm going to treat myself to some sort of beauty item. I haven't decided what yet but I've promised myself that the day I hand in that stinking dissertation I am going to go straight to town and blow my student loan on whatever takes my fancy.

8. Doing whatever the hell I want. This is probably the most important one. I am desperate to regain some control over my own life and get back to doing stuff I find fun. Life is too short to waste and I believe in spending every moment making yourself as happy as possible. I believe in doing what you love and I am hoping that one day this degree that I despise so much might actually lead to something I enjoy. So once this is over I plan on doing whatever I please for a bit. At least until the next deadline starts looming...



Picture from Pinterest.