So I know this is a random time of night to write a blog post, but it has been one heck of a day!

I think this might be the biggest news I've ever been able to share... Jared and I have just bought our first house together!

I'm so proud of our achievement and that we managed it all by ourselves. It's taken a lot of saving and dedication but it was worth it in the end!

We first found out about the house back in March and went to view it in April, so it's been over six months from the first steps to getting the keys. It's been a long and a difficult road that at times has seemed impossible.

I'll write details in further posts but for now I just wanted to share our exciting news!

Buying a home has been top of my goals for a long time and I can't believe that we have actually done it.

Right now life is a bit hectic and we are frantically sorting things out, so I'll keep this post short and sweet.

Once things are more settled I'll share more info, but for now I've got packing to do!

New year... new goals 2016

Ok, so I realise this post is about a million years too late and that I haven't blogged for ages. I'm aware its pretty much March already and this sort of post had its day about 2 months ago. But gotta get back on the horse at some point and today I just feel like everything I want to get done is jostling about in my head and won't be quiet so I can focus on things.

The best cure for that is writing so here I am, back at my laptop and typing my thoughts on the internet. Then once they're written down I can start putting them into action. 

2016 is going to see my life turning upside down as I prepare to leave uni and take my first steps into the world so I think I need to have some realistic goals in place to stop me losing sight of where I'm trying to go. 

1. Finish my dissertation. 

Hang on a minute I hear you say, wasn't that your goal for 2015? Well yes it was but because I was daft enough to study for an integrated masters degree I get the joy of not one but TWO dissertations. Ain't life a bitch. So here I am in almost exactly the same position I was in this time last year in science hell questioning all my life decisions. But, I really want to do a good job and get it done so I can move on and finish my degree.

2. Graduate.

Speaking of which I can't wait to graduate this year. When you do a four year degree you spend most of your summer of third year watching most of year friends graduate (and abandoning you) while also feeling smug you don't have to stress about getting a job just yet. I'm not quite sure where the past year has gone but suddenly I find myself in their shoes and I am both excited and relieved that uni is almost done for me. Four years of studying is a long time and looking forward to spreading my wings.

3. Get a job.

While this once seems very vague I'm not actually sure what I want to do yet. I'm really looking forward to a new challenge and being able to start shaping my life in the direction I want. Having full time employment and a reliable wage opens lots of doors. Being financially stable and independent is my overall goal and to do that I need that paycheque coming in every month. 

4. Pass my trailer test. 

This might seem like an odd one. I learnt to drive when I was still in 6th form and as the oldest of four children (three of which can drive) I am lucky to be insured on several of our family cars so have always had access to a car. Unless you are a country bumpkin like me learning to tow will probably never cross your mind but when you live in a rural area its a life skill. Now that I have a car that is a good tow vehicle I want to get that skill under my belt before too many bad driving habits can creep in and other life stresses start getting in the way.

5. Go on a girls holiday. 

This goal is already very much underway as my friends and I are going on a long weekend to Devon after we finish uni. I am already super excited about this one as it will be so lovely to just relax and have fun together. I plan to get moderately sloshed on prosecco virtually every night. Warning you now. 

6. Continue being a *bit* healthier.

One of last years goals was to try and eat more fruit and veg and just generally be a little healthier. I've tried really hard to stick to that one and have made really good progress. At the end of 2015 I even joined a gym and started going properly and I feel so much better about myself. So I want to continue rolling with that and seeing how much further I can push myself this year. 

7. Go to Rome.

I went on a school trip to Rome when I was in Year 10 and started what I suspect might be a lifelong love affair with the city. When my boyfriend Jared told me he really wanted to go there this year I felt like I might do a little wee with excitement. I've totally downplayed it to him about how happy I am about this. I'm not sure how we'll afford it, what with both of us graduating and needing to get a job but I'm determined that this year we are going there. 

8. Read more.

Before I went to uni I was an avid reader. I was never without a book I was engrossed in. Then I went to uni and discovered Netflix and binge watching a whole TV season in one day. There's always a distraction at uni and I find it hard to unwind enough to sit down and get lost in a book. I've got a big pile ready as well as an extensive list on Amazon so I can't wait to get stuck in.

When is the right time to do something?

Now I'm in my third year at uni this question surrounds me constantly. I'm no longer a carefree freshers who's major concern is working out how much I can drink and still make it to my 9am lecture. And its not just me, its my friends too. We're no longer stressing about how we're going to do all the things we want but rather WHEN is the right time to do them.

I know one day I want to explore the world a bit more. But when should I do it? Do I get it all out the way in a year long trip after I graduate? Sounds amazing but I have no money to do that, so I guess I need to get a job. But once I have a job heading off on such an adventure would probably ruin my career. So just how am I going to make this dream work?

Another major goal of mine is to one day own a house. I've lived in rented housing for three years now and I don't see that situation changing anytime soon. Its ok, but I would like to have something that is actually mine. I want to be able to do things as simple as change the wall colour or hang a picture without having to ask first. But most of all I want to feel settled somewhere, to create my own home and to feel it is my own personal sanctuary. I'm desperate to unleash that nesting urge women seem to have and put my own personal stamp onto something. So I guess I am going to have to get a job and save damn hard if I want to make this one work. But when is the right time to actually say you want to put some roots down and start building your life?

Most difficult of all when is the right time to have children? If I'm being honest this is my only major life goal I have. But ask anyone and they all have different opinions on whens the right time in your life to embrace this enormous change and responsibility. I've got friends who already have children and those that are shocked at the thought of having kids before they are 30. I think I'm probably somewhere in the middle of those two but even so I have no idea if or when there will ever be a time when I'm ready. I don't think its fair to have children if you are not able to support them. But will I ever get to that stage before the biological clock has stopped altogether? With a family history of early onset menopause it is definitely something I need to be thinking about.

These worries keep me up at night sometimes. This is the big stuff that I actually really want. And it scares me that I have no idea if its even possible to achieve all of it. And because its what I want I think its worth giving it some thought. I'm starting to see that stressing about it endlessly won't help either. I have no idea what the future holds and my current situation might change dramatically. I might win the lottery or get some amazing job that will allow me to afford these things easily. I guess I just need to wait and see what happens and try to ignore the pressure society puts on us to 'have it all figured out'.

Also, in all honesty though I am not sure there is ever a 'right' time to do anything and if you are determined to wait for it then you might never achieve anything. Sometimes you just have to go with it and take the risk. That I guess is the tricky part and the point I am trying to make with this post. You just need to decide if you want it enough to try.

For now, I am going to focus on finishing my 3rd year at uni and going on holiday to Crete. These are all baby steps towards what I want in the long term. The rest of it will just have to work itself out.

Picture

Doing Life the 'right' way

So last week I finally finished the book I was reading called I want it that way by Ann Aguirre (free to download on iTunes just FYI) and I have to admit its not often a book stays with me for this long.

Although this is not a post reviewing this book I would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good raunchy romance story. Its a seriously relateable book and I would would be a good read for anyone in their twenties who is stressing about their overall life plan.

The reason I wanted to write this post is the overriding theme of the book is there is no right way to live life. The book focuses around the idea that we have a predetermined path expected of us by society and it can be tricky to deviate from it. As young adults we feel a huge pressure to get our lives together and to start being a responsible mature adult. Slack on this front and you will feel the full force of everyone's disapproval but this can also happen the other way round. Grow up too quick and people will question if you have made a rash decision or bitten off more than you can chew as you are 'too young to know what you want'.

What I loved about this book was the way it encouraged me to pursue what I want and my own happiness. Life is complicated and the right way for most people may or may not be the right way for YOU. And that is absolutely fine. Only you can know what is right for you and by making that choice you also accept the consequences should it not work out. Having said this people mature at different rates and we should allow for this. You might be 30 and nowhere near ready to settle down but you might be 20 and totally in the right place mentally. We are all different and I think you are mature enough to do what you want if you are capable of dealing with any potential fall out.

 If there is one thing we have to accept is we cannot control life and the timing we have in our heads does not always match up to the reality. Sometimes opportunities do not come along at the right time but we should take them anyway as we all have to learn from our mistakes.

The other thing we have to remember is you are not a failure if you deviate from the predetermined path. For instance I originally applied to study Veterinary Science at uni and had dreamed of becoming a vet for a long time. I was a good candidate, my grades were good enough, I had done loads of work experience plus I grew up on a farm with a lifetime experience with animals. However after one interview I received no offers and it was probably one of the lowest points of my life. All around me my friends had their pick of 5 unis and I didn't even have one. I vividly remember the day I got my final rejection and when I told my friends I didn't get a single offer one of them replied "Yeah Amber, you think YOUR news is bad? I got rejected from Exeter today". I wanted to punch her as I knew she had 4 other offers from really good universities which included both of her top choices and had never had any intention of going to that uni in the first place. As I went to a highly competitive grammar school I was one of the few girls not to receive any offers and I had no clue what to do with my life.

But I had to pull myself back together and make some tough decisions. I've never been one for quitting and I desperately wanted to reapply. However there are only a handful of veterinary schools in the UK. Two of these are in Scotland and one is Cambridge and I didn't want to go to any of these. This only left with me with my 4 original choices (RVC, Nottingham, Liverpool and Bristol) and several of these were planning on raising their entry requirements or did not allow repeat applications. I decided that maybe this wasn't the career path for me and decided to change direction instead of giving up. The point is that this does not make me a failure just because I did not follow the expected path for me. Its made me who I am today and I do not regret the decision.

In conclusion: respect the opinions of those older and wiser than you. They probably do know better. But that isn't always the point. You have to learn your own way and we must be prepared to be flexible with our overall life plan as you never know whats going to happen. The right path for some is not always the right one for you. Know and trust yourself.

Also the book is a seriously good read. Check it out if you get bored ;)

Picture: Pinterest.

The Happiness Project

So some of you might remember a few weeks back when I was still in the midst of exam/dissertation hell I wrote a post about all the things I was planning on doing once it was all over?
Well now that it has all been handed in I just thought it would be nice to share the positivity and happiness of all the fun things I've been up to.

In my head, I have called this 'The Happiness Project'. Please nobody laugh at how lame that sounds, I just think its important that we all focus on doing the small things that make us happy. In the rush of everyday life it is so easy to get caught up on all the stuff we need to do and this makes it hard to do the stuff we really WANT to do. So I'd like to share with you guys my busy week so far which I have tried to fill with as many fun things as possible.

In a way, this is the whole theme of my blog, in that I try to celebrate the small everyday joys in life. It can be tough sometimes, and recently things have been tricky for me. This post is about how you have to sometimes be nice to yourself and be proud of your achievements, even if they seem small to others. What is important is learning to respect how you feel and understanding how to make yourself feel happy. So while the things listed below are actually very mundane, for me the time I have spent with people while doing this has made all the difference.

Went on a fantastic date night on Friday to Turtle Bay which has got to be one of my favorite restaurants. This was partly a celebration of me finishing exams (and my dissertation although I had not handed it in) as well as Jared's birthday. A big happy birthday to him <3 I got pretty sloshed on Prosecco before we even got there and then continued with the wine throughout the meal. It was nice to get merry though after so long of having to be boring. The food as ever was divine, and I had pulled jerk pork for a starter followed by Mo Bay Chicken (chicken in creamy sauce) with sweet potato fries. Jared had their goat curry which was also delicious and as always I was getting food envy. The only problem with Turtle Bay is all the food is so good I always want all of it. 

On Monday as we all know, I handed in my dissertation and this was the same day as the start of the new semester. My new modules seem to be fun so far which is good. As soon as lectures were finished I headed straight to Boots and treated myself as promised. I bought my new Clinique Sonic Brush as mentioned here and a new Long Last Lipstick in a colour called Rose Shimmer. It's much pinker than the lipsticks I usually wear but I wanted a change. So far I am obsessed with it. I think after all that hard work I deserved it. And I feel better now I've rewarded myself.

I did have a whole day of Netflix planned yesterday but this has had to be postponed due to my boyfriend being called into work at the last moment. Will be doing this at the weekend instead and I am really looking forward to some vegging out. We've made a whole list of movies we want to watch and I can't wait to get stuck in.

Yesterday, instead of watching Netflix I went to the gym and actually enjoyed it. I haven't been in so long it was actually fun. Fingers crossed for me becoming a super fit gym fanatic. It could happen.

After the gym however I undid all my hard work by meeting my flatmate for lunch at Wild Lime where the food as ever was delicious. Plus it was nice to have a catch up as I have hardly seen anyone recently.

I spent the afternoon having a really good sort out of my room and threw away a whole bag of rubbish. There is something so soothing about having stuff back in order and clean isn't there? Had a lovely relaxing bath before heading out on a bar crawl with the rest of the geologists in order to celebrate our freedom.

So there is what I've been up to so far. Can't wait to carry on having fun over the rest of the week!




Pictures: my own and the top one is stolen from Pinterest. 

New year... New Goals

Now I'm not really one for making New Years Resolutions. I never stick to them and that just makes me feel bad about myself. However since I was 14 every year with my sport of Carriage Driving I sit down and make a list of goals of what I hope to achieve each year. This tactic has allowed me to compete for GB so it must be working. In which case, its probably time to apply it to the rest of my life.

1. Be better with my skin care. I started using Clinique skincare back in April and it has made a huge difference to my skin. Over the next year I want to start being more dedicated to my routine and stop being so lazy.The effort is worthwhile and will pay off in years to come.

2. Finish my dissertation. This is a bit of a cheat goal because the deadline for this is the end of January and isn't something I am going to work on for the whole of next year. But this is a project I have been working on for the best part of a year and to finally complete it will be a huge achievement. I can't wait for the day after its done. I'm going to sit in PJs drinking tea and watching Netflix. Its going to be glorious and I'm already fantasizing about that blissful moment of relief.

3. Find a replacement curly hair shampoo. I've been loyal to Naked Bodycare for the past year and I've never been able to fault it. Unfortunately they have gone out of business so now everytime I venture into Boots I find myself leaving with every bottle they had in stock. Obviously this approach is not sustainable for ever so at some point over the next year I am going to have to go through the horror of trying to find something suitable to replace it with. No doubt that will appear on here at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that in the future.

4. Stop being so horrible to myself. I am very bad for talking myself down and telling everyone how bad I am at things. Now clearly I can't be bad at EVERYTHING so this needs to stop because the more you tell yourself things the more you start to believe it. It becomes this awful self perpetuating cycle and its very hard to break. This year I am going to make a concentrated effort to stop being my own worst enemy.

5. Care less about what other people think of me. This is a lifelong goal for me and I think it will probably appear on this list for a few more years yet. Certain events that have happened this year have brought how short life is into very sharp focus for me. Life should not be wasted worrying about other people. Over the past year I have started wearing a lot of lipstick, and I am sure it is not to everyone's liking, but it makes me feel happy so I do it anyway. This blog is another example of me trying to combat this problem that regularly threatens to cripple me. I felt like people would laugh at me if I started a blog and I eventually gathered the courage to do it anyway. Now I wish I had done it ages ago. I make small little baby steps with this everyday, but its important to keep focused on it. Otherwise I slip back into my old ways and that will not make me any happier.

6. Go on an adventure somewhere. I'm not really bothered where or what it is but I want to plan it and just do it. There are few things in life that are more invigorating than doing new things and its a worthwhile use of your money. Half the fun is in deciding what you want to do, or in just waking up and doing something on a whim. So while I have no plans yet, I will definitely be making happen.

7. Try to eat more fruit and veg. I'm not going to start whinging about dieting but I do need to eat a slightly more balanced diet and stop having eating so much junk. This ties in nicely with No. 1 and I'm sure my skin will thank me. I'm not going to give up anything or start being restrictive. Instead as a very picky eater I am going to try and be more inclusive and add some new foods to my repertoire. We'll see how this one goes.

8. Go on more dates. Both with my boyfriend and my friends. As mentioned above doing new things is good for the soul and is proven to forge stronger bonds between people. But aside from that its just plain fun. And I'm keen on anything that adds extra fun to my life :) I've already got a few things planned and I'm so excited for it!

9. Do the Race for life. Again I'm not going to pretend to have unrealistic goals of turning into a super fit gym bunny but I would like to do this in memory of my Grandad whether I run, walk or crawl it I don't care. I want to do it anyway. I think its a worthwhile achievement however you complete it.

10. Be more assertive. This is my big one for the new year. Despite my friends thinking I won't take shit from people I am actually incredibly prone to letting people walk all over me. The problem is I have a hard time standing up to people who are close to me. Yet I have no issues releasing my resting bitch face or scathing sarcasm on mere acquaintances who have mildly annoyed me. I don't want to argue with people or upset them and sometimes I let that be an excuse for allowing them to upset ME instead. This year I want to try to say NO more and start focusing on whats best for me. This might mean some of my friendships will change but I'm starting to realise that if they don't see that my happiness is important then they probably weren't my friend in the first place.

Was uni really the best thing for me?

Lately it seems I spend a lot of time thinking about how much I dislike my degree and how I've made a terrible decision that has landed me thousands of pounds in debt. Have I really wasted the past three years of my life? What is even the point? Shortly after starting my geology degree I realised that I do not want to work within the industry and that a lot of the material covered does not really interest me much as I don't consider maths, physics or chemistry to be fun.

A big part of disliking my degree is due to the fact that because I am not particularly good at it I am starting to feel a bit worthless and I doubt myself a lot. My course does not help me build on the skills I have that I am actually good at or those that I think might actually lead to a career that I would enjoy.

I realise this is totally my own fault. Nobody forced me to choose this degree and nobody has made me stick at it. I have stubbornly refused to give it up because I don't want to quit. Particularly now I am 2 and a half years in.

The amount of fieldwork I have to do sucks, as it has totally ruined my competitive career in my chosen sport this year and it also means I have to give up large parts of my holidays. Then theres the fact that I really do not enjoy the field trips so spend a lot of the time wishing I was anywhere else.

So what stops me just jacking it all in? Apart from the time and energy already invested in it I have great friends on my course who I would really miss if I quit. Also there are parts of the course I really like (palaeontology for example) and I actively look forward to them. But the main reason I took the degree in the first place is due to the variety of career paths is can lead to.

I realise not a few paragraphs up I stated I am not keen on working in the industry but by that I mean the sort of jobs the uni is pushing for me to be interested in (working in oil, mineral exploration etc). A geology degree is widely recognised by employers and I am hoping it is going to enable me to get a job that involves working a little more with people and a little less traipsing around a muddy field in the middle of nowhere.

Now I love the countryside, I love going walking and exploring but I like to do it for my own pleasure. I have been to some incredible places during the course of my degree but I would have preferred to go there for fun rather than to do work. I do not want it tarnished with geology. I cannot even look at a view/beach/cliff/road cutting anymore without wondering how the it formed and what processes caused it to look like that.

All this causes me to feel very low about myself and that if I am not good at my degree I must be worthless. But I do have skills, just perhaps not ones that my lecturers focus on. I am great at talking to people and I am more confident at walking up and introducing myself to new people than I ever give myself credit for. I am a good public speaker and previously addressed conferences of thousands of people. I am also highly organized and good at getting things done. All of these things are valuable skills and part of the reason I started this blog was to prove to myself I should do what I am good at.

University has taught me incredibly valuable life skills. I have had to learn all about boring adult things like bills, TV licenses, annoying landlords, budgeting etc etc. Its all quite dull at times but it's crucial to being able to be a fully functioning adult.

Also I have changed vastly during my time here. I am more confident, more sure of myself and give less of a shit what people think about me. I am also a much better cook haha.  

In future I am going to try not to be so negative about myself and continue to develop the skills that I enjoy (while slogging on with the geology degree, I'm no quitter). To my lecturers that may read this, see this as a sign of me recognizing there is more than one path to success and that it is ok to be different to your peers. I'm not sure what the future holds but I am going to do my best to make sure it is full of things that make me happy.

Straight hair week

Woah, I look weird with straight hair

Ok, I have a confession to make. After my post the other day about curly hair I claimed that actually it is better than straight hair, but last week I got my hair straightened.

Now first of all let me explain this treachery. Over the summer I went on a massive field trip to the Isle of Skye for 6 weeks to do my Independent Mapping which is what geologist do to kickstart their dissertation. That's right, not only do we have to write the damn thing but first of
all we have to spend 6 weeks of our summer on it (and thousands of precious pounds). I

And fishtail braids are so easy when its straight!

returned from this adventure looking and feeling like a lady troll and vowed to rectify this as soon as I came home with some pampering.

Obviously as soon as I got home I got distracted with having actual FUN and forgot about my plans to get my hair done. But last week I decided to just do it and got my hair professionally coloured for the first time (embarrassing to admit I know). It was such a lovely treat and enjoyed every second of it.

The upshot of this is that I emerged from the hairdressers three hours later with straight hair which is also now a lovely rich brown as opposed to my natural mousy colour. I haven't straightened my hair for about four years because I am too lazy so nobody at uni has ever seen it when its straight.

When I walked into a lecture the next day (only slightly late, whoops) there was a collective gasp from my friends who couldn't stop wanting to touch it haha. When its straight its also clear how long it really is so there was lots of freaking out over that too. My boyfriend and flatmates were also pretty shocked but I was reassured to hear from all my friends that they prefer it curly. Which is lucky really cos I am sure as hell not going through all that hassle everyday.

Its so bloody long!

Anyway hope you enjoy the photos. I certainly enjoyed the change and being able to just get up, brush it and go like a normal human being. But I am relieved to be back to my curls because I actually like to be different and feel a little too plain without them.