30 Things that only people with curly hair understand

Anyone who knows me will know I have a love hate relationship with my curly hair. It is a pain and a constant battle to keep it looking half decent so people don't assume I'm a mad tramp. Here are 30 curly hair problems for you. Curly haired people can breath a sigh of relief that they aren't the only ones suffering and all you annoying straight haired people can sit and feel smug that this isn't your problem to deal with.


1. Brushing it is a joke.

2. Having it brushed as a child was a traumatic experience that you fear you may never recover from.

3. Washing it takes forever.

4. And it takes a geological age to dry.

5. To be honest you wash it as little as possible because it's all just too much effort.

6. When people find out how little you wash it they are repulsed.

7. But they constantly tell you it looks no different no matter what you do to it.

8. WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BOTHER WASHING IT ALL THE TIME THEN?

9. The idea that normal people just get up, brush their hair and go is both perplexing and infuriating. I mean what do they do with all that spare time in the morning?!

10. Blow drying it will make you look like Crusty the Clown.

11. Your hair is unfortunately the first thing people notice about you.

12. And usually the only thing they remember. "On Amber, she's the one with the mad hair right?"

13. Your mood can be completely dictated by how your hair looks today.

14. A hair tie lives permanently on your wrist in case your hair starts being fucking irritating.

15. Many a brave bobby pin has boldly gone into your hair and never been seen again.

16. To be honest you can only do two things with your hair: wear it down or tie it up.

17. You only trust certain hair products which you spend a fortune on. Everyone knows only the most expensive ones work.

18. A hat is your best friend/ worst enemy depending on how great/shit your hair looks today.

19. And if it's raining outside then just give up.

20. People who feel the need to say to you "oh you're so lucky! I wish I had your curly hair" are fools. Just shut the fuck up.

21. Also when they moan about how frizzy their hair is. Bitch please.

22. You shed a little trail of curly hair wherever you go. Friends and family constantly complain about this. Stop your whining. This is our inbuilt navigation system, how else will I find my way back??

23. People are perplexed as to why you own curling tongs. For the uneducated these are used for damage control.

24. They also want to touch it. All the time. Just fuck off. Do you have any idea how long it took to make it look like this?

25. Apparently it's also ok to ask if it's naturally like this. No I make it look this shit on purpose.

26. When you straighten it the whole process takes about 4 hours and nobody will recognise you.

27. However when they do they say to you 'OMG your hair looks so good straight!" Rude. Just plain rude.

28. They also tell you about this 'incredible' conditioner they use. No. I don't need your conditioner. I need a miracle. Got one of them?

29. Boys love it. Not sure why but they do. But they want to try and run their hands through it. This counts as touching my hair and is not ok.

30. You grow it as long as possible. Partly because the additional weight forces the hair to behave itself but also because hairdressers put the fear of God into you.

People ask me why I don't just get it chemically straightened and end all this hair related drama. The fact is that my curly hair makes me stand out. I'm proud of my curly mane, and I think in some respects my mental hair reflects my slightly crazy personality. And when all goes to plan curls win over straight hair every time.