Making decisions is hard

First off, apologies for not being so good with making posts. I've had a busy week with working and stuff and y'know life just got in the way.

I wanted to write this post because I've been feeling really on edge and stressed all day. I've been on the verge of tears a fair bit too and that's not my normal happy state. Its taken me most of the day to work out why I'm upset and I think thats because I'm feeling very conflicted lately.

I've written about this quite a bit on this blog before but its clearly still bothering me so I am going to to write about it again.

Without boasting, in general I think my life is great. For me personally I feel like I have pretty much everything I want. Now this might not measure up to other peoples standards but I'm not going to get into that in this post. The important thing is its my life and I am happy with it.

Oddly though I think that might be the cause of why I was feeling upset. Before you judge me and think WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING HAPPY let me explain.

In general I would say its the people in my life who bring me the most happiness and the experiences I have shared with them are memories that I treasure. I am incredibly lucky to have so many wonderful people around me. But choosing who to spend time with and trying to justify my priorities to everyone can leave me feeling exhausted.

I know I should just do what I want. But life is not that simple. I have responsibilities such as work and uni that restrict what free time I have and a large amount of people to divide that limited time between.

Put simply I am fed up with having to choose. I am tired of having to sacrifice time spent with everyone and trying to calculate in my head who I should be prioritizing at the moment. Sometimes I have to make difficult decisions and I then spent a huge amount of time worrying I made the wrong one. Whatever I decide I inevitably end up upsetting somebody. But most of all I upset myself because I simply cannot please everyone.

Sometimes it feels like I am so busy trying to do what everyone else wants there isn't much time left for things I want to do. Perhaps I need to be firmer but I find it hard saying no to people I care about.

So yeah. This was a bit of a rambly post but I feel better for having written it down. I'm sure I can't be the only person who this affects so I would love to hear if anyone has any advice on how they cope with it.

Picture from Pinterest